In A Mood

V Pendragon
2 min readMar 30, 2024

I am in a mood.

Why?

Because I can be.

Because I am 77 years old (funny… I first mis-typed ‘years’ as ‘tears’… but there’s been no crying involved) and I have earned the right to feel whatever the hell damn way I feel like being. I have, near as I can figure, literally no reason to feel as if I’d like to kick somebody’s ass… I just feel that way. Maybe it’s the alignment of the stars because I just spent the last few hours doing exactly what I wanted to be doing (which was, believe it or not, detailing the car) as opposed to something that actually required doing (which it did but, y’know, that can always wait. I live in the glorious hills and there’s really no such thing as a clean car for more than an hour or so).

But because I adore my husband, and because I spent all day yesterday shuttling my next door neighbor back and forth from the emergency ward, I strongly suspect that, for some reason, I now feel entitled to something special, although I couldn’t tell you what.

I wish I drank. I wish I could drink. Alcohol of every sort does not agree with me but I think alcohol just might be able do the trick… help me unwind whatever bizarre aspect of my personality has curled up into a ball and wants to crawl back in bed and sleep till next Tuesday… at least. But I’m not willing to pay the price of the severe abdominal discomfort that such an action would gift me with. Been there; SO not worth it. I tried punching the stuffing out of one of the couch cushions… eh.

I am confused by this mental state as it is nothing I can recall ever having felt before. I am, as a rule, pretty content regardless of what is going on. Really. I have driven a bleeding person that I love to a hospital that is 40 minutes away mid-day in rush-hour traffic and felt just fine… a tad rushed maybe, but that’s understandable. I would, generally, usually, qualify my usual state of mind as content.

But I am not currently content and I do not know what to do about it so I am writing about it in the hopes that perhaps this verbal exercise will exorcise whatever clever demon has crept into my brain.

I will now wrap up this publicized complaint and hope for the best. If you got this far, thank you! If you have ‘advice’ though, you can keep that to yourself. Trust me… I’m in no mood to hear it. I just need to YELL… feeling a little bit better already. Thank you very much.

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V Pendragon

Artist; Author of self-help books on healing with Ozark Mt. Publishers; survivor of two 'fatal, incurable' diseases and a healthy dose of CSA